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Momorandum Archive »
Executive Momorandum
Birthday Bashing
7/29/2010
- Birthday Bashing
While "summer break" has a different connotation
to the school-aged members of the family than it does for us, summer may offer a
parenting break from the usual frenzy of kid-based activities that dominate the
year. Birthdays
however (and as probability would have it) fall across the year -- and that in
turn means accompanying birthday celebrations. Recently it seems there
have been a bevy of breathless stories (especially within a certain breed of
metropolitan journalism) on the need for the "right" parties and $100 goodie
bags, that have made us ready to bash these bashes.
Recognizing at the same time that busy working
moms might be more likely to need rely on professional services for a venue,
entertainment, food that can get costly, there are still some pragmatic ways to
bring the celebration of a child's birthday back
down to earth. Here are a few, some
sourced from Birthdays Without Pressure,
and some of our own, that we really like:
 Basic
Birthday Celebrating (that an Executive Mom can Love):
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Give
your child one nice
present instead of
several, and explain that the party itself is part of the present. (Indeed)!
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Older
children with an emerging social conscience (and an already bulging closet)
might be open to asking their guests to bring something to
donate
rather than a gift. Let them play an active role, by picking the
charity and perhaps delivering the donation itself. (And let them
still enjoy a great gift from you).
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Ask
grandparents and family members to give no more than one gift. If they feel
they need to give more ask them to donate to the birthday child’s
529 account.
(Still trying to get our family to do this)!
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Consider giving, or asking others to give
experiences versus things.
On the high end this might mean tickets to a show, but it can just as easily
mean a date with friends to the movies, an ice cream outing, or a round of
miniature golf. (Bonus points for not requiring additional shelf space).
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The
party games we grew
up with can now be
retro cool; whether in your own home or in a rented or borrowed space,
Pin-the-Tail-on-the-Donkey, relay races or musical chairs can feel like
fresh fun to kids of different ages... and really do not require extensive
stress-inducing parent prep.
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Forget
building a goody bag with lots of little (or big) items in each, and opt for
a goody bag one
simple memento,
either from an activity created at the party itself or our favorite idea is
to give an inexpensive picture frame, and do a quick print-out of a picture
from the party to fill it.
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Insist
that your birthday child
write thank you notes before
playing with any of
the newly received gifts.
We've
done this starting at the 3rd birthday, and even if it means you are writing
the note and they are adding a scribble, it's a great way of instilling
appreciation for what's been given (and pacing gift consumption).
Still wondering from whence this need for
birthday basics has arisen? Take a look at this
compilation of examples of kids' birthdays gone
awry, like the
six year old boy who won't accept
an invitation to a friend’s party until he knows what's in the goody bag... or
the Chicago mother who specified on the party invitation that gifts should be
worth at least $35, as "last year her child received some gifts worth only $10,
which did not even cover her costs."
9Which
really speaks to the fact that no amount of money in the world can buy good
taste, we suppose).
BirthdaysWithoutPressure.org
[Photo courtesy of Sharon Pruitt, via
Creative Commons]
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