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| What do you think about the rise of Mommy Madness? |
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| What do you think about the rise of "Mommy Madness," as it has been coined? And in comparison, what are your thoughts on being "the Good Enough Mother," as Anna Quinlen called it? |
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| Name |
HK |
| Location |
New York, NY |
| Comment |
I read the Newsweek article and really loved Anna Quinlen's piece on "The Good Enough Mother." I'd like nothing more than that 'permission' to feel like vegging next to my kids in front of the TV at the end of a long day (for all of us) isn't a crime. I think I know instinctively that it's not... but until the pressure subsides from everyone else out there, it's hard not to feel pulled! |
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| Name |
EH |
| Location |
Washington, DC |
| Comment |
I have to say, I find the insanity Many women have given in to with motherhood embarassing. It seems like the women who are most insecure become the ones who make themselves (and everyone else around them) crazy, to prove something. But what? |
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| Name |
Jenna |
| Location |
Madison, NJ |
| Comment |
I don't know about Mommy "Madness" (sounds pretty nuts) but I read the Momorandum and this line from the article is one I am going to try to stick on my fridge: "You can't learn from mistakes and disappointments if your childhood is engineered so there aren't any." |
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| Name |
Vicki F |
| Location |
Columbus, OH |
| Comment |
I agree that the first part of the article concerning keeping up with the Jones is a little crazy for me. However, I DO agree with the second part of the article that speaks to the struggles of the middle class mother to get access to quality child care and have flexibility at work for when daycare calls and my child has the flu. It's not about wanting to work or not. For those of us who NEED to work, there is not a lot of sympathy for family commitments. I'm beginning to think that "Family Values" just means "we don't like alternative lifestyles". Because Europe and Canada are LIGHT years ahead of the US in providing family friendly workplaces/work hours. |
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| Name |
MN |
| Location |
NY, NY |
| Comment |
This article could literally have been about me...not that I have any delusions about being perfect or even wanting to create a 'perfect' childhood for my daughter. But, it is hard, when you have generally been successful and self-sufficient throughout your life, to try and give that up high performance bar in any sphere of your life despite the fact that the spheres keep growing and expanding. I want to be a good parent, employee, spouse, etc. And, in my past, just working harder usually enabled me to succeed. I know it may be unreasonable to think I can really succeed in all of these areas but I genuinely don't know what to let go of or where to lower the bar...? |
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| Name |
DPT |
| Location |
New York, NY |
| Comment |
I SO agree with what Vicky wrote below-- other countries are so much more enlightened with regards to work and family. They have long maternity leaves, vacations-- and much better length of work days too. That was 1 statistic that did pop out at me- -Americans now work more hours per week than ANY other nation. THAT"s something that really needs fixing. |
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| Name |
Alisa |
| Location |
Tacoma, WA |
| Comment |
I cried through the entire article because FINALLY somebody understands me and my struggles. For years, I've searched for a mentor, a peer, a boss or even a grandmother (mine once criticized that the list of demands in my life weren't nearly as many as the number her mother faced) who would or could provide guidance, support or even acknowledge that today's motherhood - in fact, womanhood - is hard. And probably what's most ironic, and insane, is that my response to finding out that I'm not alone and that I can't do it alone is to thrust into personal action to see "what can I do!" Still, this cray pressure is a condition I fully believe needs to be fixed. So if you point me in the direction for how we change this situation, I am committed (or maybe that's should be committed). |
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| Name |
Ida Byrd-Hill |
| Location |
Detroit MI |
| Comment |
Here is my opinion I sent to Newsweek in an editorial letter:
I believe your analysis regarding the phenomenon of motherhood in the article, “The Myth of the Perfect Mother” was incorrect. For 10 years I owned a financial advisory firm where I attempted to balance the building of my firm with the raising of my twins. I found the stress I endured was not self imposed. That stress was imposed by American Society expectations of a mother.
Even though many women have careers that have excelled their husbands, society expects the woman to bare the ultimate responsibility of feeding, clothing, and educating their children in luxury. But the American Society has remained exactly the same as it did in the 1950’s when the majority of women stayed at home. Look at the American School System. School still ends at 3:00 pm despite the fact most women do not end their work day until 5:00 pm. The curriculum has been watered down to the point American Schools rank at the bottom of the richest industrialized nations, leaving the mother with the undaunting task of supplementing their children’s education. We fill our children’s days, nights and weekends with extracurricular activities and tutoring so our children will be able to compete in the global marketplace.
We pay housekeepers, nannies and transporters to ease our stress. We enroll our children in private schools in hopes of reducing educational stress. Unfortunately, we live in a constant state of stress attempting to live up to the expectations of the American Society. We, even, attempt to rearrange our 10 hour work day schedule to accommodate our children to feel exhausted and cranky.
I decided after 11 years of this balancing act to revolt against American Society expectations. I decided I can live a life of simplicity and luxury while avoiding the complexities of American Society expectations. This new simple life philosophy has created a physical renewal and a series of flexible businesses including the creation of a www.livinginstyleonline.com. I am now having a ball. I recommend that my fellow colleagues revolt against American Society expectations, reexamine their lives and seek to define their own expectations and philosophies. Maybe then, they will find they are already the perfect mother.
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| Name |
YLL |
| Location |
Eminence KY |
| Comment |
Being a good "Mom" in my eyes being able to balance home, work, and family. Being able to keep work and home separate meaning when you're at home with your family you should give them all you undivided attention as much as possible. I'm a single parent and I admit it's not easy. By the Grace of God I do try and give my kids my best. I try the best I can to give each my son and daughter as much attention as I possibly can equally. Talk about what ever they may want to talk about, play whatever games they may want to play, go on whatever outing they choose within reason etc etc. To me that's how I see it. |
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